Quick trip up north...

Bruce took this picture and caught my favorite time of the day...

at my absolute, most favorite place on earth...

The cabin!

I love the reflection of the birch trees on the water...

and if I close my eyes, I can hear the water rippling over the rocks...

so calming...


I have dual monitors at work and most of the day, my screens are full with too many windows open at one time...
sometimes I just diminish them all and gaze at this spot...
It instantly calms me and makes me feel so peaceful!

(If only we could "diminish" all our problems and worries as easily!)

Please pray...

Please pray for Kristy's family...
I cannot begin to imagine what they are going through...
http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20090917/APC010301/909170555/1007

I cannot seem to get this off my mind or out of my heart and pray for them constantly.

I am what I am...

I had to post this...
Aaron wrote this for school and it makes me cry every time I read it...

I Am What I Am
Written By Aaron Mc Gowan

I am what I am...
I am a student at the two time back to back state champ school Kimberly and am very proud to be here.
I am a student and I understand that I don’t know everything and have much yet to learn about life.
I am also a believer in choices.
I believe we all face the same choices in one way or another.
To smoke and drink and do bad things compared to doing what I was always raised to do and say.
I believe we are all tested to see what we can achieve in life.
I am what I am, a son and brother.
A son of two outstanding parents that I know love and care for me as much as I care for them.
I am a brother to a wonderful sister that even though she is older still looks at me as her peer and best friend.
I am a friend as well as a mentor in many of my families and friends problems and decisions.

I am a lover and fighter.

I will be nice and fair to anyone and everyone who I meet.
I can also be a weapon as I am trained in the art of Tae Kwon Do and am a recipient of a 2nd Poom Certificate, which is a 2nd Degree Black Belt.
I have trained for six years at this and know what my abilities are and what to expect of my opponents abilities.
I am what I am.

A dreamer and realist.
I am a dreamer of one day being able to compete with my buddies who are pro motocross riders. I am a realist in seeing that I can only jump my bike so far and go so fast till I get better, but I learn.
Just as I was taught to follow my heart and get up after falling in everything.
Just as I have been taught to be thankful for everything I have and all the time I have here.
I have experienced this many times in the deaths of friend racers and my cousin.
In this I believe they are in Gods hands. For I am a christian and not afraid to say that.
I am what I am.

A kid.
I live by that.
I live my life now and here and want to do as many cool things as possible that I can as a kid.
I love activity.
Whether it be practicing motocross, or snowboarding, it can be from fishing in one place along the bank of a river to hunting a friend in the woods during paint ball.
I love my dirt bike and working on it.
I love hanging out with my friends that ride and watching them learn.
I love lots of things and the list is long trust me.
I am what I am.

I am Aaron James Mcgowan.
I am 16 and love my life for how it is and don’t regret one minute of it because without what has all happened I wouldn’t be here loving it now for what it is.

I am what I am…
nothing more…
and nothing less.

Needless to say, I am one proud mom!

An adventure...

The Appleton Airport

On a much lighter note...

My brothers and dad...

"the three amigos" or maybe?

"the three stooges"?

ha ha ha ha

left today on an "adventure"...

a flight to Montanna...

a stay in the "hunting cabin"...

(ya right!)

a visit with great family and friends...

many, many good gut laughs...

and there are SURE to be a few GREAT stories...

and a loooonnnng drive home in a van...

(with more of the same, I am sure)

Just don't let Dad have the first sleep shift - he will never wake up!!

(I am so jealous...)

Enjoy, laugh and have loads of fun!

God Speed!

Shaken and sad...

Yesterday...
on a day that seemed oh so normal...
just driving home from work...
I received a call from Brittany with tragic news...
of the suicide of a 17 year old from Kaukauna High...
Kristy.

We knew her.
It shook my world...

My hair stood on end...
I did not believe it...
I hated telling Aaron and hoped that it was not true.
I still get chills everytime I think about it.

Every parents worst possible nightmare.
Horrific.
Tragic.
There does not seem to be a word to describe it and I cannot even imagine.

She had touched our lives personally...

I took care of her...
for two years when I was an at home "day-care" mom...
She and Aaron attended preschool together at Good Shepherd...
and then all our kids were in day-care together...
Her grandparents were our backyard neighbors for years.
A vivacious, bubbly, out-going little girl that made us laugh! All the time!

Her mom and I were great friends when the kids were young.
As the kids grew...
we drifted...
but would quickly try to catch up at the kids events through the years.
I watched her grow up from afar.

Recently, there had been a move from Kimberly...
I had heard rumors of a nasty divorce...

But...
What makes a child do this? Anyone do this?
How can there be no other options?

We knew her...
no longer closely...
but still...
she had been a part of our lives.

It made me realize again just how tough of a world our kids are growing up in.
It made me pray that neither of my kids ever feel this desperate or hopeless.
It made me extremely sad.
It made me text Brittany to always be strong and never give up.
It made me wish (a lot more than usual) that I could giver her a bedtime hug.
It made me have a talk with Aaron that I should probably have more often.
It made me hug him a lot tighter at bed time, to make up for both their hugs.
Because I am so lucky to have them.

And when I crawled in bed...
it made me sob...
uncontrollably...
because I am so thankful that...
somehow...
someway...
we survived divorce...
not just once.

it was not easy...
there may be scars...
but these can heal with time and love.

Because we still have each other.
And for that I feel so grateful.

Glimmer???

I had a glimmer last week...

and again yesterday...



Glimpses...
of the way it was at one time...
and maybe...
of a new beginning???



I spent a few wonderful, relaxed, hours just hanging with my beautiful daughter...

playing with the camera...
cooking dinner...
eating...
driving...
and mostly, talking...
about important things...


about silly things...
laughing...

and just catching up.





I loved every precious minute...

Just enjoying each other...

And like time does...
with everything special...


the minutes went
way to fast!!

(And we did pretty good at catching and enjoying a beautiful sunset together too!)

Great weekend!

Taking a ride in Bennie the jeep to Uncle Matty's pond

Jumping in off the cherry picker!!

They really got a lot of air...

Aaron rolling Hunter into the river...

Hunter... my... what big antlers you have...


Say "Cheese" Mitch...

It's the inner tube boy...

Julie and Carol having fun...