Yep... I am quiet...
Yep... there has been more hurt...
Yep...I have needed time to retreat, reflect and revitalize...
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8 months ago
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
How to describe how I feel??
This week has been a whirlwind emotionally...
Monday, Brit had to go back to court for her on year follow up hearing. The feelings, emotions, and memories that went into that trip to Sturgeon Bay and the time watching my daughter in court are indescribable.
The outcome? Although she was hoping for expungement - Brittany will continue to be on probation for one full year yet with the opportunity to have the felony diminished to a misdemeanor at that time. I pray for her - sometimes multiple times a day - that her decisions and choices each day take the rest of her life into account.
Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my divorce - in a way, it seems like a lifetime... SO much has happened since then and today, I realize that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was or could be!! I stand amazed at all that God has brought me to... and then brought me through. SO... never really alone!
Yesterday, Brit came over to address her graduation party invitations - for awhile this year, we were not even sure if there would be a high school graduation and or a reason to celebrate!! She made spaghetti for supper and ate cookie dough with us...and participated!! as if she misses it!! No conflict... great night!
Tonight is sure to be the most emotional...
Brittany will walk with her class and graduate from Kimberly High School with the class of 2009. I remember... when she was born... figuring out that she would be part of the class of 2009 and thinking that it was a lifetime away. It seems as though I blinked... and now she is graduating!
I have struggled this year with so many feelings this year with Brit... disappointment... anger... frustration... bitterness... embarrassment... betrayal... bewilderment... misunderstanding... denial... guilt... but always with love as the main motivator. and... although she thinks I may have... and many times, has thought of me as the enemy... I never stopped loving my daughter - not for a moment.
I had such high hopes for Brittany and the person that she was...
she has struggled... she has made big mistakes... she hasn't cared what could happen to her or thought about consequences... she won't be attending UW Parkside as planned...
and as she once dreamed...
So...
today is bittersweet...
BUT... it is sweet just the same.
SHE MADE IT!!
I am VERY proud that Brittany is graduating.
I am VERY proud that she has earned a scholarship.
I am celebrating!!
She is graduating... from high school and one chapter of her life...
this is not an ending but a beginning... of the rest of her life... she has a new chance...
I am VERY proud that Brittany is my daughter and I will hold my head high tonight...
and shed tears (I am already)...
and look forward to her future...
I hope her future is so bright... she has to wear shades!!!
Monday, Brit had to go back to court for her on year follow up hearing. The feelings, emotions, and memories that went into that trip to Sturgeon Bay and the time watching my daughter in court are indescribable.
The outcome? Although she was hoping for expungement - Brittany will continue to be on probation for one full year yet with the opportunity to have the felony diminished to a misdemeanor at that time. I pray for her - sometimes multiple times a day - that her decisions and choices each day take the rest of her life into account.
Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my divorce - in a way, it seems like a lifetime... SO much has happened since then and today, I realize that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was or could be!! I stand amazed at all that God has brought me to... and then brought me through. SO... never really alone!
Yesterday, Brit came over to address her graduation party invitations - for awhile this year, we were not even sure if there would be a high school graduation and or a reason to celebrate!! She made spaghetti for supper and ate cookie dough with us...and participated!! as if she misses it!! No conflict... great night!
Tonight is sure to be the most emotional...
Brittany will walk with her class and graduate from Kimberly High School with the class of 2009. I remember... when she was born... figuring out that she would be part of the class of 2009 and thinking that it was a lifetime away. It seems as though I blinked... and now she is graduating!
I have struggled this year with so many feelings this year with Brit... disappointment... anger... frustration... bitterness... embarrassment... betrayal... bewilderment... misunderstanding... denial... guilt... but always with love as the main motivator. and... although she thinks I may have... and many times, has thought of me as the enemy... I never stopped loving my daughter - not for a moment.
I had such high hopes for Brittany and the person that she was...
she has struggled... she has made big mistakes... she hasn't cared what could happen to her or thought about consequences... she won't be attending UW Parkside as planned...
and as she once dreamed...
So...
today is bittersweet...
BUT... it is sweet just the same.
SHE MADE IT!!
I am VERY proud that Brittany is graduating.
I am VERY proud that she has earned a scholarship.
I am celebrating!!
She is graduating... from high school and one chapter of her life...
this is not an ending but a beginning... of the rest of her life... she has a new chance...
I am VERY proud that Brittany is my daughter and I will hold my head high tonight...
and shed tears (I am already)...
and look forward to her future...
and new choices...
and new hopes and dreams...
I hope her future is so bright... she has to wear shades!!!
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