Survival quilt...

As promised - here are pictures of "the survival quilt"!!

My quilt top for my mom was finally gifted to her on Christmas eve!

After a year and a half of working on it every spare minute I got - it is finished!

I never imagined when I started that this project would be as big or mean as much as it has...

Each of the twelve blocks were done seperately.

All the wool pieces were hand cut and fused on to the fabric.

Then each piece was handstitched in place.

Sometimes when you work on a project of this magnitude - you get sick of it along the way.

BUT I still absolutely LOVE this quilt!!

It is made of the cuddliest flannel!

And it is jam packed with love in every stitch!

My mom (as a quilter) appreciates every second that went into it and

I love that this has become an "Over the top" heirloom" that can be handed down through the generations as my great grandma's and mothers quilts have been!

I always joke that, I (and my kids) have always been "quilt" people!
We love snuggling and have many great quilts in our house so of course it is special but
I call it my "survival quilt" because when our world got uprooted last fall - there were many days that I wanted to just give up... on work, on family, on projects and on life in general.
This quilt project kept me going - I knew there would be an end result that would show how much I had accomplished and I was determined to NOT GIVE UP!!

SO... I stitched...

while surrounded by good friends and family in conversation,

on the beach, in the car and while watching movies,

while I was shedding tears and missing my old life,

while I was learning what me new life was starting to be like,

while I was happy,

while I was lonely,

while I was hopeless,

while I was determined that life would not always be sad!

SO CHEERS! To the "survival quilt"!!

For me it will always be a symbol of all that I have learned and how far I have come!

I hope years from now - others that I can only imagine - will appreciate

all the heart and soul that come with this quilt!

And yes - another quilt has been started in its place!! Ü

A Happy and Healthy 2009 to each of you!

I love you all!

Leave it to Aaron...

Aaron thought he would help out the

fire dept by shovelling around the hydrant...

he must have been bored?

Cute - he was afraid they couldn't get to it if there was a fire...

Then he must of got really bored...

I came home to an ice rink in the driveway...

I said, buddy... what the heck?

he said, Uncle Bruce has a bigger one mom, mine is small.

I said, Uncle Bruce has a well, he doesn't have to pay for water - I do!!

BUT... it really is kind of cool...

and he was so excited and proud...

and I think I may have to use it tomorrow...

I just hope someone doesn't

slip and fall and I end up with an insurance claim for good old Uncle Bruce!!

Note: This was two days ago, we now have another 6 inches of snow!

Winter Wonderland!!!!

Let it snow???

As I was getting up to go work out, I forgot that it had snowed! I woke up to 3 1/2 inches more of fluffy white stuff again this morning...

Where is global warming now that I am single?????? Hello!!

I was the first one in the neighborhood out to shovel today (very unusual!) And actually, it was so peaceful and serene with the fresh white blanket of sparkly snow that I really did not mind. (bonus: it was Fluffy, Light Snow)

Plus I multi-tasked... I had a load of laundry running and shovelling became my workout! Good feeling to have it all done...

Let it snow??? I am excited to go snowshoe-ing this weekend though so ok, maybe... just a little more?

12 Days of Christmas

If you read my last post about the Christian christmas music played at the band concert last night, the other song they played in the trio was "The Twelve Days of Christmas" which I thought... ok, they played two christian and one secular, makes sense I guess.

But that song has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
Today, I found out. (Thanks Kristie)

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. (AND they played three Christian songs last night - ha!)

You have to admit that you wondered too right?

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone

Christmas concert

Last night was Aaron's Christmas Band concert and I so look forward to getting to hear him play. It always means Christmas is just around the corner and I am amazed at how great they all sound together.

He is the tallest kid and seeing that ear to ear grin and him, so handsome in his uniform in the middle of the percussion section, makes me so proud. (Plus... he is really good!) :D

The Christmas music is always the traditional Santa songs and carols.

Last night - a pleasant surprise!!
At a school function, they actually played "O Come, O Come Emanuel" and "What Child is This" - two of my all time favorites! I sat there with goosebumps (they sounded so pure and sweet) as I was reminded of the true reason for the season...

Not sure how those songs were chosen and I actually heard two people discussing it on the way out but I say kudos, to whoever "slipped" those beautiful christian pieces in... they made my night!

Snow day...

OK - remember, if I there was a Santa, I was going to get a "snow day" because it was exactly what I wanted for Christmas???? Here is the story of how yesterday played out...

When I found out about out our "snow policy" on Monday - I called my two Tuesday testers and let them know if Appleton schools closed, we would be closed. No problem.

We also had a "room rental" for the first time since I was here. Basically a local business was renting out our facility so I checked on how to handle it. Was told they had been contacted, to post a sign on the door when I left on Monday saying "closed due to weather" and if I came in, take it down. Cool. Easy. I can do that.

Left work - TOTALLY ANTICIPATING A DAY TO LAZE AND GET STUFF DONE! Lisa and Danielle came over and we had a couple of drinks and watched the snow fall and planned what we would do on our "snow day" the next day!

Tuesday, 6:00 a.m. - Heard Appleton Schools were closed on radio!
Tuesday, 6:10 a.m. - Brittany plopped into my room to announce that there was no school and she was going back to bed.
Tuesday, 6:12 a.m. - Got a text from a friend about "playing" on our snow day... lunch... some decorating... starting to make plans
Tuesday, 6:15 a.m. - Get a call from my plow buddy, Travis... knows I usually need to be plowed by 7:15 to make it to work but if I didn't need him, he was swamped. Told him no worries, he had all day!
Tuesday, 6:16 a.m. - Back to dreamland!
Tuesday, 6:33 a.m. - Phone call... uh oh... (608) are code. Madison. Not Good, Corporate. It was my HR guy saying that "someone" needed to open the office for the room rental, they had not been contacted and had people here from out of state. I needed to be there by 8 a.m. Told him OK, nicely. Hung up and moaned loudly!!! uggggggghhhhhh Darn snow!! How can the word SNOW sound so lovely in "Snow Day" and so annoying in "Snow Removal"???
Tuesday, 6:35 a.m. - Texted friends that snow day plans were off... sad thing.
Tuesday, 6:38 a.m. - Looked out front window and realized that there was about 3 1/2 feet of snow at the end of my driveway and that there was no way I was backing over it to get to work and letting Travis clean up the mess later... double uggggghhhhh
Tuesday, 6:45 a.m. - started shoveling, got a nice section done (note: very heavy wet snow, not the fluffy white stuff) where I could just ease the car through after about 20 minutes. Stood back to rest and contemplate my work and think that the positive side was I just got some excercise. No lie... the snow plow comes down the street again and I look right in his eyes as he completely fills in what I had just shovelled. (I know that he got some preverse pleasure out of that, I could just tell!) At this point, I told myself, "Colleen, when are you gonna learn - there is no Santa Claus!)
Tuesday, 7:10 a.m. - start shovelling again!! My neighbor, Al happened down with his snowblower - thank god! He did the heavy stuff and I did the front walk. Aaron (precious child) got up to help and first thing commented that he had seen the snow plow incident and the look on my face said that I wanted to kill the driver... (I was slightly embarrassed about this, but just slightly!) Al finished the driveway (saved me $15 for the plow job, still looking for the good in this) and Aaron and I headed over to help the older neighbor lady shovel hers.
Tuesday, 7:30 a.m. - Hit the shower...
Tuesday, 7:58 a.m. - Made it to work on roads that had hardly been plowed - 2 minutes ahead of time to find out that our snow removal service knows that if Appleton Schools are closed, we are closed and they had delayed out snow removal til later in the day assuming there was not hurry. Suffice to say that no one was happy to walk in 6 inches of snow and I had more than my fair share of shovelling AGAIN!!

I did miss the day lazing in my jammies and hanging out with the kids...The plus side is - it was an exceptionally slow day other than locating a business that would deliver them lunch! I was told I could leave but a tester had been really disappointed that they could not test so I rescheduled and figured as long as I was there, what the heck? My boss recommended I spend the day getting my online Christmas shopping done and gave me a half day to take at my discretion yet before Christmas - (score!! ok, so maybe there is a Santa?) I had thought to throw mom's quilt in, got a ton done on it while listening to Christmas music and watching the snow fall, my neighbors came again and removed the second batch of snow and plow droppings, Brittany made Christmas cookies and did laundry and baked chicken, Aaron shovelled the deck and around the hot tub... hmmmmm... maybe being at work wasn't so bad??

The best news... I have been worried to death about renting the long arm to finish mom's quilt - it has been booked for moths with everyone completing Christmas projects...
Called the quilt store... last minute cancellation!!! With my bonus day, I will be able to rent the long arm machine 12/22, mom is going to meet me there and watch and assist with the completion, we are going to have Christmas girls dinner together to catch up and enjoy each other before the busy holiday! I am so excited - mom's quilted portion should be done on Dec. 22!!! There will only be the binding to do and am hoping to complete it on the 23rd on my planned, leisurely day off before Christmas and (knock on wood) it should be wrapped and ready for delivery on Christmas morning!! Just like I planned - ha!!!

There is NO planning... is there? But the unexpected surprise of a 1/2 day when I want it and someone else taking care of the snow, Christmas cookies?? Not a bad trade off, all things considered!! AND the snow sure is pretty today... when I don't have to think about moving it!!

Sure is good for a laught today! I can just hear the snow plow driver telling his story about me also! :D

Have a great day!!

Joy!

Life will bring you pain all by itself.
Your responsibility is to create joy.
-- Milton Erickson, MD

Thanks Kristie - you were right, I absolutely love it!
{{huggs}}

Christmas memories...

Christmas is always so nostalgic for me... and I cannot, nor do I want to... decorate in a hurry. I am a putt-zer!
I like to open the rubbermaid containers and look at the ornaments that I was given as a child, the ones that my children have received and savor the memories that go with them. I have items that people have lovingly crafted and favorite cards I re-read and let's face it, it takes time (probably the thing I have the least of).

To be honest - last year at this time was brutal. I had to go through and divide out half of everything Christmasy and separate items for each child - it was the crucial blow to me that my blended family had fallen apart and we would not be celebrating the holiday as we had. I got through it... somehow... painfully.

But I just could not bring myself to decorate. I did not want to face all those old memories while I was hurting so badly and too be honest, I was afraid of starting new ones with the thoughts that they too may be shattered. Finally, a week before Christmas, Aaron kicked me in the butt. He said, that's it mom, it is time to decorate the tree. He proceeded to haul up all the rubbermaid and even put up the tree, forcing me to decorate!! I was so thankful he did but was ashamed it was not me making Christmas fun for my kids... BUT that was the nudge I needed... I went into auto pilot and pulled out exactly what we needed and decorated in a hurry so the memories would not seep in. I somehow pulled it together and we had a somewhat merry christmas after all. (The best that could be expected at least!)

This year, I am savoring... each moment... each memory. The rubbermaid has been in the kitchen for 5 (yes 5) days and I am sorting and remembering the people I have loved and lost, so many wonderful memories, funny stories, santa visits, past Christmas traditions, thinking about new Christmas traditions, realizing that Brittany will be at college next year and realizing that life changes - whether we want it to or not.

But somethings don't... deep down, who we are, does not change...

Because of this blog I have been lucky enough to reconnect with two people from my past that meant the world to me 23 years ago and we have re-connected to realize that part of our journey is to create bonds and touch lives and some of those bonds can never be broken, even though the world steps in.
I have been having the hardest time with not being able to see my step-daughters. I vacillate between being angry that I was just a "nanny" and missing them so much my heart breaks. I somehow want them to know that even though there dad chose to divorce me, I did not "divorce" them. I truly have wondered if all I did and everything I shared with them, all those years, was in vain.

Amy and Kim, my nieces from 25 years ago reconnected with me in the last few weeks. They were like 8 and 6 when I last was with them. They both let me know that although I was only in their lives for a few years, they have never forgotten me. The things I taught them (our projects and crafts) and the time we spent was very important and they have never forgotten their "Auntie Colleen". And I have never forgotten them and all the wonderful memories we shared! Their e-mails were truly an answer to prayer and have shown me that even though Jen and Brooke are teenagers and "don't quite get that the world is not all about them" and don't seem to have time for me - someday, someday they will appreciate and understand.
Amy and Kim are now moms and wives with children of their own and I look forward to getting to know them as adults and friends!! Thank you both for following your hearts and being led to share your lives with me! I love you and have missed you both a ton!!

The christmas decoration above is one of my absolute favorites but one I hid, way in the bottom of the rubbermaid last year. This year is proudly sits on top of my refrigerator!!
A "project" memory - go figure! Each of the four kids painted a square and then signed their name on it. There was spilled paint and arguing over brushes and Jennie was in the stage where she wrote her 9's backwards for the year and laughing... all 9 years ago. It seems like yesterday!
The time that we spent doing this was invaluable and they all have a little bit of craftiness in them now (some more than others) and I know, as a mom and step-mom, I helped foster that with this and other projects. Just as each day and minute we spent together helped make us all who we are today!!

We can be stripped of a lot in this world but we cannot lose the times and things and people and memories that we hold dear and choose to hold close in our hearts!! So my rubbermaid might sit in my kitchen a couple of days yet, kiddos... (Brittany is groaning as she just had her friends over at lunch as I was "putt-zin" on my break) Someday you can look back and smile about mom and her rubbermaid and her memories!!

Thank you, each one of you for having touched my lives and for listening to my ramblings and for sharing one of my most valued "lessons" of this most blessed season! And I am so blessed to have been given the chance to have touched your lives, Kim and Amy and Jennie and Brooke and Brittany and Aaron!! And all the rest of you. Thank you for touching mine!

Just had to take a minute to post our "half" of a christmas tree. Hee, hee

Our living room is pretty small, so instead of opting for a small dinky tree ona tabletop, Aaron helped me put up half the tree.

No, not the top half.

Literally half of the circumference and we wired it to the wall so it kind of looks like it is growing right out of the wall.

I have to admit that the white lights and having the tree up has finally made it seem like Christmas...

But unfortunately, Kyle the Kitty seems to think that this is his new toy. That beautiful ribbon has already come off twice and been halfway down my hallway and the pinecones are just too much for him to avoid! I feel like I have a toddler in the house again! I can just imagine how the wrapping paper will be chewed off the presents!

P.S. I just found out that when Appleton schools closes, our office closes!! They are saying 8 to 14 inches for us!! I have to admit that I feel just like a kid in school possibly waiting for a snow day!

SNOW DAY!! Doesn't that sound wonderful? A whole extra day at home to stay in my jammies and try to get organized and start baking and just hang "in"? I will even take the shovelling!!

(I broke down and hired someone to plow my driveway, just no time!!)

I was joking because out of all the things that I could have asked Santa for - a whole extra unplanned day off would be exactly what I want and need. I really do love my job but am selfishly keeping my fingers crossed.

I still believe Santa, I still believe!!

Stay tuned!!

The big hunt...

Aaron transitioned from deer camp back to reality at mom's on Wednesday night. He had a great time, has many cute stories and new memories (and I am sure some I won't ever hear about!) AND he was SO TIRED!!
Unfortunately, there were no deer shot at hunting camp this year in Amberg. He is bummed but on the way home on Friday, we got to stop in Marinette to see Cody's 3 pointer he shot that morning... Aaron was thrilled for him (and a little jealous) but they were fun to watch together as they discussed all the details.
There is a lot of talk of a new Remington and Aaron is already dreaming of next year and his "30 pointer"...
Thanks Grandpa for all your work to make hunting camp happen to accomodate all that great male bonding. As you commented, it is a lot more fun setting up hunting camp than taking it down... your hard work is appreciated by many!! It is probably a lot like labor, you tend to forget how much work it is until you get back into that same position going, what the heck??

Gratitude...

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Melodie Beattie