A good update!!!

things are looking up... Ü

dad has made some definite improvements!!!

his breathing is less labored...
his oxygen is at half of what it was...
he has been sitting up in a chair...
he is working very hard at rehab...
and...
the docs are hinting at a possible move to a regular room???

part of me is very cautious as we have been here before...
BUT...
he truly is looking and acting better...
he is amazing the nursing staff...
and...
I AM LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!

my dad is a fighter!!!
and he has a lot of great people in his court rooting him on!
thank you all~

Dad's illness

as those of you who know me best already know...
i am a mess...

my dad and I have always been SO close...
there has never been anyone that could measure up to him. ever.

i always knew that i would be a wreck when something happened to him...
i am a mess... I AM A MESS...
on the inside...

on the outside though...
i trudge on... i muddle through...

i...
organize the visits...
try to take care of mom...
go to work...
try to be there for aaron and brit...
sit with dad through the long dis-orienting nights...
stroke his hand and keep him calm...
ask the important, real questions...
blot his tears...
update the families...
make jokes and keep him smiling...
read him the many cards, his devotional and his favorite book, the bible...
take care of the flowers and try to cheer the room and appear busy...
keep smiling when his numbers are not good so he doesn't see the worry...
wipe his brow with a cool cloth when he looks wore out...
just stroke his forehead, when words are not enough...
give him the thumbs up when he hits small little goals that seem like huge accomplishments...
but...
i will be honest...
i have seen my dad suffer more than I hoped to in this lifetime...

the disease seems to have progressed too fast... and too far...
no one seems to know how to treat this awful awful process...
it has been a an un-believable roller coaster, some parts too scary to describe...
his doctors are trying options...
many, many, MANY wonderful people everywhere are praying...
he is fighting... we all are fighting...
but i have faced all the outcomes...
and i have faced that the disease may win.

dad ALWAYS told me that if he dropped on the side of the road running, i had better not try to bring him back...
i have always known, felt and respected his relationship with his JESUS...
i know that he is ready when he is called home...
i just secretly, selfishly hope beyond hope sometimes, that it is not for a long, long time.

my dad has taught me SO much in my lifetime...
he has always lived north of me for my adult life so I call him my "north star"...
last year he placed a cross in a special place where i can go to talk to his JESUS...
and to talk to him when he is gone... who does that?

NO MATTER WHAT has happened to me in my life... he has always been there.
but come to find out - he has been there for SO many people...
it is so hard to imagine him falling...
but he is so loved, by so so many!!

It is not hard for me to imagine what my heavenly father will be like - i think he will be very much like my dad.
My best words to describe what has set my dad apart as a person but mostly as a man are the following words...

Nothing is as strong as gentleness, Nothing is as gentle as real strength

I am so thankful for each moment that JESUS gives me with my strong, gentle, real strength - my dad...

Next road bump...

After weeks of watching my father go downhill healthwise and seem to age before our eyes... we finally have a diagnosis. That in itself is answered prayer... although we all know, sometimes we don't necessarily like the answer...

He had not been feeling well for a long time - we watched him suffer through a stomach infection, a severe ear infection, a horrendous eye infection, some heart issues along with chills, fever, nightsweats and a host of other symptoms... symptoms that you would never think would be related to each other.

Tuesday when he started coughing blood, mom made the decision to bring him to Aurora ER. His bloodtests from last week were back and he has been diagnosed with Wegener's Granulomatosis, a rare auto-immune disease where the anti-bodies in your system basically attack your body.
It is un-curable...
The treatment's side effects are almost more debilitating than the disease...
BUT there is a chance of remission!!

He has started massive doses of prednasone...
They are trying to stop the bleeding in the lungs...
He will need to start Chemo soon.

It is daunting, scary and very overwhelming... please pray for us all as we start this day to day journey towards remission and good health. He will need all the prayer strength he can gather!

Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your heart...

On being brave... and strong...

You can do it Brittany!
Good luck with college...
take one day at a time...
make good decisions...
study and work hard...

and have the time of your life!
Very proud of you today!
I'll be...

The Boy and His Bike!

Aaron at Gravity Park

I love that dirt in the mouth/nose area...

He never stops smiling when he is on that bike!

Heroes!

I have known for years that Aaron is going to serve his country and enter the Marines after high school...

Ever since he was little, he has worn military hats, berets, camoflage, army boots - anything to be like his heros. (He still does!) Ü

And one of my favorite memories of him is the summer that he would sing all four anthems for each branch of service - proudly... at the top of his lungs... whenever he was asked!!

To be honest - I think he would go tomorrow if he could - that is how much he wants to serve!!

I have always been ok with it - probably because he is so determined...
Occasionally, he has vacillated between Army and Marines but he always comes back to his number 1 choice... to be a Marine - "like his Grandpa"

I was very emotional at Memorial Day Services this year (OK, more than normal)

~ Our flag, waving in the wind... there were 37 of them out this year - breathtaking!

~ Hearing my dad speak - and feeling so proud and thankful for his life.

~ Watching my great uncle Carl and his son Denny stand side by side, saluting our flag.

Then, when they played Taps... usually one of my favorite moments.

It suddenly dawned on me... Aaron entering the service is now than 2 years away...

This year... I admit, I did, very persuasively, try to talk him into sticking with the drums...

My argument to him - "Aaron, you can have an awesome career in the Marine band, travelling, seeing the world, getting great pay and benefits" - all the while selfishly, not wanting him to see combat.

His response? "Heck no!! I am not taking the easy way out! Mom, I want to fight... I need to serve my country... someone has to protect YOUR freedom"

How can you not be proud of that???

SOOOOO.... I have already started praying...

~ for his safety

~ for his friends and commrades while he will be there

~ that if he has to serve... that he will make a difference!!

This link/tribute gave me the chills... and reminded me of Aaron that summer!

They are all my heroes!!!

This was filmed in Iraq at a USO tour of a US Marine Base. Play it and enjoy...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MtdIO23MKM